Complaining seems to have a runaway energy, once you start, you can’t stop; and the consequences can be disastrous. Complaining wastes your time, it also wastes your energy and it doesn’t do a great deal for your popularity either.
If you spend 5 minutes complaining you can be sure of two outcomes:
1. Instant lack of popularity
2. Instant loss of productivity
Here are some complaining traps to beware of:
The Complaint Competition
“Oh, but my ….. is worse than yours!”
Why on earth would you want to be the winner of a whiner’s competition! Could it be that we are just getting more competitive by nature, and we don’t know a good competition from a bad one? I’ve read plenty of articles lately about people competing for who’s the most stressed. Why even enter? What’s the prize, hypertension? A heart attack?
We’ve probably all done this one. This is where we allow one small issue to get sticky and attract some negative friends to join the complain-athon.
Here’s a dead give away clue to the magnetic moaning in action, as soon as you hear yourself, or someone say “and another thing…” you can be sure the mighty magnet of complaint is seeking sticky additions to it’s growing mass of malcontent!
The Whiner’s Convention
Some folk just love to get in a group and complain. The details of the group debate are usually trivial and seldom focused on solutions. Avoid whiner’s conventions at all costs. Trouble spots to watch out for are public transport, queues, and picking the kids up from school.
Stuck in a Rut
This is similar to magnetic moaning, but it’s a step further down the path to complaintsville. Stuck in a rut moaners cannot and will not see a way out. You can talk it through with them until you’re blue in the face and all that happens is their face gets redder! They just want to complain, they’re on a roll.
Two Simple Ways to put Complaints in Quarantine
When you feel the urge to complain welling up, try the following:
Set a timer for two minutes and go for it. Have your say, but when that two minutes is up, complaint time is over. The department is closed and you have to move on.
Take a shower, take a walk, listen to some music, something, anything but complain.
“Even though” These two words are incredibly powerful for containing negative statements. Why? Because they presuppose that there’s something better to come. They acknowledge the issue, yet move it on elsewhere. The complaint gets stated, but it doesn’t linger.
“Even though my boss is a total pain in the butt, I love my job / don’t let him get to me / feel sorry for him really / earn too much to care…”
“Even though ……., I have better things to do than let it bring me down”
“Even though ……., I will not give it the power to spoil my morning/afternoon/day”
Try it - it’s a fun way to stop complaints leaking out all over your day.
The Emotional Freedom Technique makes great use of these powerful two words in dealing with negative emotions and getting them out of your hair for good. You can find out how in my EFT eBook