Do you do what you do because you want to, or because you feel you should? If you're operating from guilt, you are not in a comfortable place. Anthony Robbins calls this “should-ing all over yourself”! His advice is to engage the power of asking questions.
Why do you feel you should?
What would happen if you didn’t?
And why would that be so bad?
Is there something you’d rather be doing? Something you want to do?
Some way you could be freeing up your time and energy for something you choose to do?
If others are “shoulding” over you, you might want to think about changing that.
Guilty manoeuvres will have you going round in circles. It’s Ok to be you. To choose your direction, to have an opinion, even to put yourself first and choose what you do and don’t want to do.
Self-care is not the same a selfish. When you care for yourself properly you have more to offer others, you can give from a place of strength rather than feeling like a raisin trying to give a drop of juice!
So today’s exercise is in developing a dash of self-support. What do you need to feel OK? I’m not talking about new shoes or potato chips here, I’m talking about me time and how you’d like to spend it.
It’s essential for me to have some quiet time alone every day, I’m a Mum and a wife so I get it by getting up early, then by the time everyone else is up I’ve done my morning meditation, read something, and sometimes written something too - whatever the day has to bring once the world’s up and about is OK because I’ve already had my quiet time.
What do you need daily to look after yourself? Do you like to read supportive books? Go for walks? Meditate? Draw? Take an uninterrupted bath with candles and music? What’s your thing for feeling that you’ve had some time to care for yourself?