The No Word
One key step in claiming the right to be you, and to live how you want to live, is making friends with the “no” word.
You might find it hard to deliver an outright no, many of us do, but there are more subtle ways to apply the word that will get you the results you desire without the fear of provoking confrontation.
One of them doesn’t sound like a “no” at all - it’s the art of buying time. It’s very simple and gentle to try, yet establishes immediately that you have a choice and you know it.
This is excellent for evading expectations and social pressures that clash with your preferred plans:
“Thank you, can I get back to you on that?” or, the slightly more assertive, “thank you, I’ll get back to you on that”
You didn’t say a direct no, you’ve been polite, implied that you will consider the request, and you didn’t get caught in an unwanted obligation. It’s a win win situation. You bought yourself time to consider. Now it’s your choice.
Now you have a way of dealing with what you don’t want, it’s time to look at the other side of the same coin. What do you want?
How do you want to use your time? What do you want to do with your day, your life, even the next 5 minutes?
If you don’t know what you want for yourself, other people can sense it and they will happily start telling you!
Take five minutes every day to check in with yourself, you can do it on paper, or in your mind. What are your priorities, and values? Are you honouring them, and yourself? Or are you getting blown around by external factors.
When you find your centre, your solid core, other people will literally sense where you stand. There will be an aura of self-awareness about you that others cannot fiddle with! It’s a wonderful gift to get to know yourself and where you want to go.
- How to Grab the Wheel & Take Control of Your Life part 1
- Grab the Wheel Part 2. How to Stop Making Guilty Manoeuvres
- Grab the Wheel Part 3. Learning to Say No
photo by snigl3t